It's Thursday October the 3rd, 2019.
"I dreamed you were giving me a flower" my brother in law told my wife. She decided to hide that dream.
I was at my parent's for our weekly family gathering. Both of my brothers were busy and couldn't attend, so I was tasked and honoured to host the event. It felt like another peaceful family day until 1858 hrs, when I recieved a long expected phone call from my son informing me that "Banootah is dead". That's when part of me died
I rushed back home to offer her a speedy burial. I never understood why there were two wild palms trees behind my house until I decided to safely bury Banootah between them. I never understood the purpose of 18 interlocking blocks stored ever since we build the house until I used them to mark her grave. I named her Banootah (little girl) and she died as a little girl. Rest in peace my angel.
Sobbing in grief, I drove back alone to my parent's place to lead the family gathering.
My instincts told me to hide the event from the rest. I wasn't sure I would receive a proper reaction if I didn't. I wasn't sure I was permitted to grief over a cat. Alas, isn't she a soul?! So I kept quiet while leading the gathering with a yellow smile covering my blank face.
It's devastating when our loved ones leave unceremoniously, denying us a simple goodbye. It's so sad when tying our mouth with a heart drowned in blood, is the only way to grief.
I am not going to share how Banootah left our world. Instead, I will share with you how she changed my world.
5 years back is when the angel joined our family as an adorable kitten. She spent her first night in the book shelf and above the books. Years later, we realized we should have got a couple. No matter how much we spoil them, fact is that we can't be another cat. Single pet cats don't feel complete without one of their own and they are not welcomed by other stray cats.
Cats are hunters by nature. That's why they like to play rough. In absence of another cat, that is what I did. She gently scratched and bit but occasionally got serious. Yet, she was able to turn gentle in a second. That was our special way of saying "I love you" to eachother. She was confident and always let me win. I will miss it forever.
[video preload="none" width="848" height="480" mp4="http://hakandkak.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/VID-20191004-WA0022.mp4"][/video]
We decided not to tamper much with her world and let her enjoy our backyard. When she was strong enough, we even let her decide where to spend the night. Soon she learned she better remaine within our compound for her own safety. Alas, if only she did. Whenever allowed, she loved sleeping in our bed feeling our warmth. I will miss that forever.
She used to dine with us. I loved feeding her over the dining table. She loved eating mortadella and majestically drinking from the swimming pool. I will miss that forever.
Mostly, I will miss our morning walk. She would ask me to let her out and then wait outside the door for me. I would then take a stick that she loved and begin walking together in her garden, with her leading me and repeatedly rubbing her face to the stick everytime it hit the ground. It was more like our morning dance than just a walk. She would then stretch on the grass and expect me to massage her ears and scratch her body. It was absolutely heart breaking to walk this morning with the stick but without Banootah, yet I will continue to do so in her memory.
[video preload="none" width="848" height="480" mp4="http://hakandkak.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/VID-20191004-WA0023.mp4"][/video]
Banootah didn't just leave her finger prints in my garden, in reality she also left her soft marks in my hard heart. I will miss that forever.
They say "Never say never again". Well, I say "Definitely never again". I am not going to get another cat or any other pet. Losing them is too hard and heartbreaking. Plus, our backyard won't be shared with any other. It will be reserved forever for Banootah and only for Banootah.
As in my brother in law's dream, just like a flower, Banootah surprised us yesterday and withered so soon. Just as in the dream, my brother in law was the first and the last that night to condole me for my loss. "That is the interpretation of that about which you could not have patience." Quran 18:82
A beautiful soul told me "Every living on earth that dies turn to be a star ⭐️ in the sky that gives us light in the night... so every time I look up and I see a star , I know one of those stars are my loved ones. So think about the star whenever you see in the sky". So, I will look up but to the moon
Banootah, darling, until we meet, stay beautiful as usual.
[video preload="none" width="1920" height="1080" mp4="http://hakandkak.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/y2mate.com-life_of_pi_soundtrack_pis_lullaby_english_sub_titles_avcJlsxUgo4_1080p.mp4"][/video]
