My Liberal Friend
By: Khalid Alkhaja
(وَٱلَّـٰتِی تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِی ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُوا۟ عَلَیۡهِنَّ سَبِیلًاۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِیّاً كَبِیراً)
English interpretation of verse 34 of Chapter 4 (An-Nisa):
“And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺.2 But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.
Let’s get serious!
I am convinced that the word discipline (ٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ) in the above verse refers to wife beating. I also know that the previous verse, which includes a legal ruling that permits beating of ill-conducting wives, causes you sleepless nights, but not me. So read this article to the end to understand me.
Thankfully, I have never beaten my beloved wife or another woman, just as the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) never hit his wives or any other woman (except for my foolish quarrels with my younger and beloved sister when I was a masculine child).
However, as Imam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) wrote in his Fatawa, excellence in law-making (issuing judgments) does not lie in one's ability to choose the best between two goods, for that being obvious and simple. But the distinction is in the ability to choose the best between two evils (least harmful), when circumstances leave you with no other alternative. Such as punishing an individual with the ugly imprisonment, when necessary, to avoid greater harm to the society. Although the act of “imprisoning a soul” is evil in itself, sometimes we have to accept it to prevent even greater evil from happening!
This explains how the Western liberal societies, which punished drug users harshly in the 20th century, suddenly discovered in the 21st century that punishing a drug addict was immoral, and legalized drug use!
Western liberal societies know very well that drugs are corrupt, but they have adopted this evil drug-friendly law out of necessity, with the aim of causing less harm to the society. Legislators in these liberal societies are simply exercising their right to choose between the best of two evils, or the least harmful!
Now, is this latest and evil drug-friendly law the right approach?!
Well, we have to wait for decades to figure out the answer, just as it took the liberal West decades to conclude that: For decades, the liberal Western societies fought drug addicts with the wrong approach. It is a trial & error methodology to find a solution, or a pilot project without guarantees. Good luck with this experiment and others!
The Art of Law Making
As for the provisions of verse 34 of Surat An-Nisa, it is unlikely that they were addressed to the Arabic community during the era of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). There are many accounts that confirm that beating women was not a widespread phenomenon, but was considered a shameful, disgraceful and ugly act in that Arabic society, whether before or after Islam. Therefore, in this verse there is a clear reference to the universality of the reformist message of prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Hence, the verse and its rulings must have targeted other troubled societies with the tendency to hit females, as is the case in today's liberal Western societies.
In the eighties, when I was a young student in the United States, I asked a young American girl who was in a relationship with a young Arab: Why don't you date Americans? She replied: Because Arabs don't beat me!
Since anger is the most common precursor to violence in foolish patriarchal societies that suffer from women beating phobia, satisfying the male’s masculine ego and obtaining his consent to consider beating as his third and last resort, is a logical deterrence strategy aimed at managing his anger and calming him down when angry, thus sparing women the consequences of beating. It is difficult for a person to remain angry for several days in a row, while going through the Qur'anic methodology, where the agitated husband has to go through the first stage (advising his woman) for several days and then the second stage (stop sharing their bids) for several days. In the worst case, i.e. if the first and second stages do not resolve the dispute, the husband has the right to gently beat his wife (not on the face and without physical harm). That is, with the same force with which a professional male coach in the liberal West spanks a female player’s butt, in order to encourage or reprimand her gently!
In other words, verse 34 of Surat An-Nisa contains deterrent provisions and laws to confront wife beating in troubled societies (such as the liberal Western societies) and addresses the risks of the masculinity phobia. Such a sophisticated and profound law can only be issued by the Creator of the universe, Allah the Almighty, who knows the temperament and psychology of his free and reckless creature!
Simple-minded riff-raffs will not be able to grasp such complex and deterrent laws, and only legal experts and law makers will appreciate them. So, it's no wonder that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has been honored since 1935 by the U.S. Supreme Court, as one of the greatest legislators in the history!
Do you see what I see?!
